CRAZYYY!

I AM GOING CRAZY,
I am not a lazy person.. I am a busy body, I like to be out and about.. and I cannot stand being home all the time, and just being able to hang out with one person, I love Michale and all, but I want to see other people too.. like my miss amazitazing Harper I miss her, and I want to see her so much, if you want to follow her blog.. which is also amazing click here she is an amazing person all together :).
Anyways, the snow is severely limiting what I can do with my life.. and I don't like it.. I don't like it at all.
I pay for my own college, and I haven't been able to go to work, in three weeks, because of all this snow. Now, don't get me wrong I love the snow, I love the way it looks when it falls but the point is. I can barley walk.. and I have had knee surgery about a year ago, and all of this snow just makes my knee hurts and makes me worried to even walk.. because I don't wanna slip and fall.
PLUS, all the shoveling I have been doing.. has literally been insane.. hah. My whole body is soar, and every inch hurts, Michael was massaging my back today, and he said he found like three knots in my back.. and he was trying to work them out and I kid you not, my eyes were watering.
I don't know how to explain it thought.. as much as I am not likeing the snow, there is just something about it.. everything is peaceful, things are quiet.. and God can really affect you in these times. I have a lot of down time for me to focus on things that I wouldn't normally have time to if I was running from place to place. Now, don't get me wrong.. I read my bible every night and I pray all throughout the day but I make sure that I deff pray before I go to bed.. this all just gives me more time to read, more time to consider, and what I need most from God.. more time to listen.
Hearing God can sometimes be so difficult, it can make your head spin.. it's almost like swimming in a sea of answers, some are what you want to do, and some are what God wants you to do.. but its hard, and I can't decipher the one from the other yet. So, in a way.. it is like me swimming in the sea of answers.. but I am blindfolded.. or I can't find my goggles. It is so hard.. but this week, has given me time to relax, time to really listen to try and pick what was my desire and what God was telling me to do.
Now, its not like I have been struggling with huge things that like.. I needed to hear God in, its just situations that I would like to hear God in maybe even his encouragement.. just him reminding me that he is there, because in a hectic world.. its sometimes easy to forget.. especially when things are going crazy, and there is not time to breath.
So, in the long run.. I thank God for the snow.. all of it. I trust that whatever is happening all goes into his divine plan.. and I will give you an example of that next.
My friend.. that I have known ever since we were little. Have kind of drifted apart.. and this week, we were both bored.. and she can easily drive to my house in her truck, so she did. And she came over spurr of the moment and spent the night.
We were talking about religion, about how.. she doesn't agree with what I agree with, and we openly spoke about it. Anywho, we got into the conversation of how we both don't agree with "Christians" who are nasty, and try to force their opinion, and beliefs on people who do not choose to believe like they do. Or even worse, Christians that hold a harsh opinion againts those people who do not believe in God.. such as Homosexuals, and people who have had abortions. Now, let me explain. I do not agree either of those types of people, but I do not hate them.. and I realize that God loves them just the same as he loves me. So, who am I as a follower of Christ to hark on these people, if anything I should be showing them Gods love. Which is what I have been trying to do with a lot of people now. We continued our conversation into me illustrating for my friend a metaphor that I thought of to explain what I as a Christian, believe God wants me to do for people that do not fully believe, or who do not live the life.
Picture a seed, I (as the Christian) walk up to the non Christian, and hand them the seed, this seed is my stories, why I believe, and what I believe. The non-Christian can either take the seed or leave it that is there decision.. if they take the seed, they then plant it in a pot. &afterwords God comes to water the pot.
So ultimatley, I am just living my life to the fullest, and telling every person I come into contact with what I believe.. but I can't make them a Christian.. they have to want to be a Christian, they have to accept a seed&then God is the one that makes them a Christian.. God is the one that forgives them of their sin, it is the person and God. And I honestly believe that that is the way that God wants it, after all he did give us the choice of choosing.
those are pretty much all my thoughts for right now..
Oh but I want to tell you about something beautiful.
Toady after me and Michael came back from sledding.. we just layed in already fallen snow.. side by side.. held hands with our big bulky gloves.. and just looked up at the snow falling.. just laying&talking about amazing things.. he told me how thankful he was that I was in his life.. and I asked him to promise me that he would do this with me every snowfall that we were together.. &he said yes..
I can't even explain it.. I had never looked at snow from this angle before.. and it was beautiful almost breath taking..